(I started to write this on father’s day. However, I only finished it on the following Saturday, 25th.)
Happy Father’s Day to all you fathers out there!
I know the day is almost done, but this the first time for the day that I have been able to be on my blog! My daughter, wife, parents and other relatives and friends wished me a happy father’s day today! It was a good day… a busy day… but, a good day!
Today, I gave a short sermon at church today for Father’s Day. I wanted to share a summary of it with you all. I hope it would help to encourage all you fathers out there to strive to be the best dad you can be. My message was based on an acrostic of the word FATHER that I devised:
The focus of this message is to talk about what a father should be.
First and foremost, a father should be faithful to God. One of the best examples of this is Abraham. He was faithful to God, even above his own son, and as a result was able to have his son unharmed and be blessed by God in the process. A man’s faith influences his entire being. It influences the decisions he makes in life and how he acts towards others. If a man truly loves God, and is faithful to God, he will act in a way that pleases God, and this conscious way of life will prove him to be a good father.
The unfortunate thing about this life is that most men who profess to love God are not faithful, and do not always live to please Him. Oftentimes, we use a profession of faith as a political statement instead of as a way of life. I am promoting the view that true genuine faithfulness to God is important to being a good father. If you are truly faithful to God, and not just putting on a show for others to see, then your children will see a pattern of behavior that depicts love, respect, discipline, grace, and truth. The values that should be taught to kids are seen in their father every day. To me, this is what we should all strive towards. Instead, of saying that what the Bible teaches is ideal and no one can do it, let’s all work hard to achieve it. Let’s not complain, but rather prove to ourselves that faithfulness is not only possible but it’s something that anyone can do.
One of the greatest travesties in the society today is that so many children are abandoned by their fathers! So many children do not know their own father, either because he is not there, or when he is there, he doesn’t give them any notice. As a result most fathers do not even know their own children. Too many fathers today are too concerned with themselves to notice their children. Many fathers also are too concerned with making money or pursuing sexual experiences to dedicate the time needed to raise their child correctly. How can you train a child, if you aren’t there?! What do you teach your children about fatherhood when you are not there?! How can you know your children if you are not there?!
The only person in the bible that I can find who didn’t even know his sons was Eli. Eli was a devout man of God, but the Bible suggests that he didn’t know how wicked and sinful his sons were. The Bible doesn’t really mention how much time he spent with them, but I think that he didn’t make enough time to know them. He wasn’t available to them and for them, to teach them and discipline them. In the end they turned out to worship idols and had numerous sexual encounters with women who they enticed.
I firmly believe that when a father makes himself available to his children, they will be better for it. Most young people today who are delinquent and rebellious don’t have they father in their life and those whose fathers are physically around are not involved in their lives. I want to challenge all fathers to be there! Be available to your kids! Get to know them, and let them get to know you. Create a bond with your kids! It will go a long way!
One of the key roles a father should take on is that of a teacher! Too often, fathers don’t realize that they need to give instructions to their kids. Fathers should provide spiritual teaching, moral teaching, vocational teaching, and even help with homework! We should teach our kids how to live. We have to prepare them for life: show them right from wrong. This is especially important for young men, because as boys grow older, and learn about sex and women, they follow the crowd and focus on the sexual aspect of a relationship. Oftentimes, this leads to men who focus on just having one night stands, and viewing women as a booty call!
We can actually learn a lot form the Bible on this. In Proverbs, it says that we should listen to the instructions of our fathers, and these instructions will counsel us and protect us, and keep us living a Godly life. However, if fathers are not teaching their kids, how will they learn?
Proverbs 22:6New Living Translation (NLT)
6 Direct your children onto the right path, and when they are older, they will not leave it.
It’s our responsibility to teach both our boys and our girls about life, God, and righteous values! Let’s do it, and our lessons will never leave them!
One of my personal pet peeves is that many ‘men’ think it is a great achievement to have children will many different women. The end result of that is that many women have to struggle as single parents doing their best to raise children by themselves. This is something that I am personally against, and there many men who would look down on me as a result, because I don’t agree with this practice. However, I think that a real man treats women with respect, and does not leave that woman to raise children by herself.
I personally believe that you should be a husband to a woman before you make her go through nine months of bringing a child into the world! Be responsible for your actions! If you are man enough to have sex and conceive a child, you should be man enough to commit yourself to that woman and child. If you aren’t willing to commit to her and her child, then control yourself and leave her alone! Respect women! They aren’t just there to fulfill your personal fantasy and then throw them away like garbage, and neither is a child to be treated like it is an unwanted byproduct.
Once you do marry a woman and have kids, you need to treat her right! I firmly believe that the reason why we have so many broken marriages today that involve abuse, infidelity and eventual divorce, is because many people today did not have a good home example of a father who treats his wife well. The Bible clearly says that God is against a man treating his wife badly!
Malachi 2:14-15New Living Translation (NLT)
14 You cry out, “Why doesn’t the Lord accept my worship?” I’ll tell you why! Because the Lord witnessed the vows you and your wife made when you were young. But you have been unfaithful to her, though she remained your faithful partner, the wife of your marriage vows.
15 Didn’t the Lord make you one with your wife? In body and spirit you are his.[a] And what does he want? Godly children from your union. So guard your heart; remain loyal to the wife of your youth.
Many men today think that they are treat women, especially their wives, any way they like and then put on a show to others and to God that they are godly or christian or whatever, but the Bible clearly says that God does not accept that! No matter how wonderful the singing is, or how elaborate the prayer is, or how good of a show we put on, it is not what God wants!
In all of this, if a father is treating the mother, his wife, badly, this sends a terrible message to children. Boys learn that men are supposed to treat women badly, even if they hate seeing their mother being treated badly. Girls learn to expect to be treated badly, so when they become young women they will hold on to any man who treats they nice initially, and dismiss any early signs of abusive tendencies. Husbands who treat their wives badly create a terrible cycle that, more often than not, predisposes their kids to accept abuse as a normal part of a relationship. This should not be!
As fathers, let’s be good husbands, so that our boys would know how to treat women, and our daughters would know what to expect from a good man, and not accept bad treatment. Let’s do the right thing!
We, as fathers, should be good examples to our kids! This is a primary role of a father! We must lead by example! We must lead by our actions, and not just our words! When we want our kids to act right, they shouldn’t be able to say that we don’t do it either!
1 Timothy 4:12New Living Translation (NLT)
12 Don’t let anyone think less of you because you are young. Be an example to all believers in what you say, in the way you live, in your love, your faith, and your purity.
Last, but not least, fathers need to be responsible! We need to provide for our family! We need to make sure that our wife and children are taken care of! The Bible is very serious about this!
1 Timothy 5:8New Living Translation (NLT)
8 But those who won’t care for their relatives, especially those in their own household, have denied the true faith. Such people are worse than unbelievers.
There are too many dead-beat dads out there! This needs to stop! Men need to be responsible! Children didn’t call you and tell you and their mother to bring them in the world. You took it upon yourself to get a woman pregnant and brought that child into the world! So, take care of your own! No one can call himself a christian and do not provide for your children. God hates that. We all need to step up to the plate. We all need to be responsible and not just think of ourselves. As men, as fathers, we can’t be selfish. We must think of our kids!
So, my challenge to all fathers out there is to be a father! Be faithful! Be available! Be a teacher! Be a husband! Be a good example! Be responsible! It’s up to you! Will you meet the challenge! Or will you wimp out! What’s your choice?!