The truth or a kiss? Who is your friend?

Hi Everyone, I just wanted to share this thought from the scriptures that I was meditating on recently. It is the verse, Proverbs 27:6 –

Wounds from a sincere friend are better than many kisses from an enemy. (NLT) Faithful are the wounds of a friend; but the kisses of an enemy are deceitful. (KJV)

I personally prefer the wording of the King James Version (KJV). Anyways, the thought expressed in this verse is so critical to our development as responsible adults. I find that may young people today have a very hard time facing the truth about themselves and/or their situations. They run from the truth, because it hurts. Most people today don’t want to admit when they are wrong, or when they have wronged others. We follow our feelings so much, and rarely choose to make our actions based on principle. We prefer to hear everyone tell us, “You’re doing great!”, or, “Good Job!”, or, “Good try!”, or “That’s wasn’t too bad!”. We often get upset if someone tells us, “That’s not good enough. You need to change…”, or “You need to work a bit hard to meet your goal”, or “If you don’t do…, you will fail.”, or, “What you’re doing is wrong.” I ask myself, “why do we not like to be told we are wrong?”. “Why do we want someone to approve of our actions?” I sometimes watch shows like American Idol and Dancing with the stars, and typically, those times when I am watching them it is as a result of my wife changing the TV to that channel. However, the thing that just stands out for me in these shows, is that most persons don’t like to be told the truth about their performance. They only measure their performance from what they feel about what they have done, rather than the perspective of the actual (objective) quality of the performance. Typically, these persons will ignore the judges, or talk back to them, or when interviewed after, will talk about how they think that what they did was just so awesome. Most people today seem to have lost the backbone required to really evaluate themselves objectively. We want everyone to like us, and somehow this validates our performance in life. To me, this mind set is very dangerous, because it sets us up to be controlled by the whims and fancies of other people, rather than being true to ourselves, and focussing on what is right and just. Oftentimes, young people value their friends based on whether their friends make them feel good or not. However, someone cannot be your friend if they see something wrong with you and don’t point it out or try to help you fix it. Someone who always sucks up to you, and never wants to hurt your feelings at the expense of your well being or long term betterment is really not a true friend. Someone who sees you going down the wrong path and never tries to stop you is really your enemy, because they have no concern for you. It is better to have your feelings hurt (wounded) by a friend and be told the truth so that you can change and be better, than to be made to think that everything is fine, and one day end up in ruin. Persons who are always telling you, “Yes”, when it is obvious that something is wrong, should be avoided. Keep away from persons like that. They are parasites that suck your life from you, and are probably only around you because they can benefit from you or they envy you and want to see your ultimate downfall. So, if someone is bold enough to tell you that you are wrong in something and need to do better, cherish that person. Don’t hate them. If you don’t agree, consider this exaggerated scenario: “If you saw a friend unknowingly driving in their new car towards a cliff, would you wave to them and tell them, ‘Have fun! Congrats with your new car! You look great!’, or will you frantically try to stop them from driving any further, even though you know that it would upset them to stop?” What would you choose? Sometimes, as a parent, I realize that I have to be the one to always tell me children, “No”, but I know that I never tell them ‘No’ to anything that will be good for them. That is how a true friend should be. I hope this thought helps someone. God Bless